Hi Guys
Well, I'm still alive and kicking but...
Since leaving France and jumping straight back into the world of work after a two year break in Brittany, I am reeling with the stresses of a learning curve so steep that I feel like I am sliding backwards and in danger of falling into a black hole of bits and bytes and assembler code and all of the extremely techie-stuff that I am required to master in order to perform my new role. I feel so dumb and stupid, I know nothing. I tell myself that my new colleagues would flounder faced with a CICS system dump, that they couldn't run IBM diagnostics, that they don't know the stuff that was my bread n' butter for twenty years, but then they are not paid to, are they?
I have to admit that there have been several occasions when I felt like running out of the office, leaping into the little French car and heading straight for Portsmouth docks, stopping only to collect The Ark, but I have managed to resist the temptation to flee, so far...
As for England.
It's over-crowded, noisy, oh so noisy after the tranquility of the commune, frenetic and fast-moving and I feel as if I am on a quick conveyor belt that's going the wrong way. Truth to tell I suspect that I have felt that way all my life but it never bothered me so much before
I am having a lot of trouble adapting to this new life
I can't move in this small house without falling over a dog, cat, bookcase...
The kitchen is smaller than my downstairs toilet at The FVH...
The entire ground floor is smaller than the lounge at The FVH...
The ...
I won't go on, suffice to say that Mouse is well and truly in a small mousehole and it's taking a lot of getting used to
At night the noise of a nearby dual-carriageway disturbs my sleep
The sounds of teenagers in the street alarms me
The all-night street lighting confuses me
The constant presence of people unsettles me
I need space, peace, quiet
I am still working on how to cope
I hope that I don't sound whiney?
I think that work could be fascinating and rewarding once I crack it...
I like my colleagues, they're all individuals, very smart and, so far, I haven't detected any bitching, back-stabbing or bullying, probably because the company ethos is simply to refuse to permit it, respect is the key word, and that is SO refreshing after life at the beast...
I was able to drive The Ragazza to Nottingham Uni on Sunday...
The Ragazzo will be spending alternate w/e's and many weeknights with me...
The Someone is here to help and support me
I have much to be thankful for
But, honestly, hand on heart, I don't know how long I will stay in England if I really can't adapt
on verra...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
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11 comments:
Hmmmmm.....doesn't sound all that positive to me, but that's me and I'm retired.
You sounded so much happier in France.
susan in spokane
Glad to hear from you, Mouse, as we're all wondering how it is going. Sounds like it will take time to adjust to the change and that is normal. I'm glad that your work colleagues are nice, your children are near, and The Someone is helping. So I wish you cups of Patience and soothing teas!
Mouse,
I am so glad to see you back at your blog! I have had you in my thoughts. I understand the stresses of change. I hope you will find happiness in England because the Ragazzi are there. Give your new job and new house a chance. You still have the FVH to retreat too for holiday weekends, correct?
Good to see you here, Mouse! Much of what you write of is adjustment pains no doubt. Having moved twice in the past year (and started a new job 2 years ago), I can tell you that unsettling noises settle into the background once you hear them regularly (oh, it's just those kids in the street...) and the place you live in will feel more like yours. It may not ever be completely "home" but you don't have to stay there forever. If you love the job and want to stay, you can eventually find someplace else to live. And you'll get the hang of the job, too. At least now you can see your kids all the time! Glad to hear the Someone is being supportive. So much to adjust to at once.
Every beginning is difficult. This sounds quite difficult. But I send you wishes for good luck and calmness and finding your way in this new life. I send wishes for finding all the pros and postives in this new adventure.
So glad to read this update! Of course it's hard, and you probably knew it would be. You'll give it your best shot too, and my guess is that the rewards will start to accrue. I'm so glad you have support from Family and Friend to add to your own pluck, intelligence, and determination. Whatever happens, you will be fine, and you know that. Wishing you the very best, and do keep us posted, we all care about you! (And I *know* how hard it is to adapt to much smaller, more urban surroundings - it is a huge transition, both mentally and physically!!)
It is so good to hear from you. I agree with what the others said...that it will take time to adjust. You have to adjust to a new job, new home and living in your country again.
It is wonderful that you have so much support.
Whew, you're back with us! That last blog entry from France sounded like it could be a farewell to Blogging, as well as a farewell to France! However, upon reading this entry, it sounds like you might be contemplating a move back to the FVH (or perhaps, another country such as Finland). However, "knowing" you, I suspect you'll adapt just fine! Keep the faith!!!!!
You don't sound whiney Mouse,just overwhelmed ! I'm sure that once settled and you have found your england feet everything will settle.
Kind Regards
Hi just found you on From my Swiss Window , and after reading a few posts, notice that you are in Oxfordshire...so am I!!
Whereabouts do you live? Get in touch if you would like to. :-)
Forgot to give you my email address..annearnott1@hotmail.com.
I just read another post, and you talk about exploring Oxford colleges and Abingdon...you can;t be far from me.
I notice you are back at work, but if you would like to meet up..coffee etc..it would be great to meet a fellow blogger :-)
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