rocks and pebbles

I used to think that I was a loner

Back in England on the weekends when The Ex had the Ragazzi I liked nothing more than to close the front door, draw the curtains and shut out the world for a couple of days

I was completely content in my self-contained cocoon

"I have my books and my poetry to protect me

I am shielded by my armour

Hiding in my room

Safe within my womb

I touch no-one and no-one touches me

I am a Rock

I am an Island"

Simon & Garfunkel

Since moving to France I have surrounded myself with people, submerged myself in the social milieu, sought out like-minded souls

which puzzled me somewhat

and then it dawned on me in one of those d'oh moments

when I worked technical support my customers and colleagues were my Tribe

I was so engrossed in customer problems, so proactive in their support, so dedicated to their well-being that I spent hours on the phone talking to them, e-mailing them, thinking about how to find and fix bugs and prevent them in future

It took all of my energy, all of my time and, it seems, it filled the space in my life that would normally have been for friends and socialising

I'm not complaining

I loved it and I did it willingly and gave it 100% of myself

and I still miss the customers and The Product, sometimes

But that was why I felt the need to withdraw, rest and recuperate on alternate weekends when no-one needed me to fix anything for them

So now I'm in France and I find myself slowly establishing a different type of Tribe

So, not so much I am a Rock

rather I am one small round pebble

occasionally tossed around by a winter storm

washed clean and smooth daily by gentle waves

one of many pebbles clustered on a sheltered beach